It's all bridge under the water

I find that saying "It's all water under the bridge now" is not usually accurate. Because really, whatever it was, it was probably a bigger deal than that, and you are just lying to yourself if you say otherwise, right? So try this improved saying:

"It's all bridge under the water, now."

Which is to say, it's all fucked, and there's nothing we can do. For example:

"Yeah, we used to be super close, until he fucked me over, but that's all bridge under the water, now."

Let me know how this improves YOUR life!

Guitar Hero interrupted

Look, I'm sorry to make this blog an archive of sorts, but honestly, I recently gathered together and listened to all of the recordings I've made since I got my first 4-track in 1997, and there are 900 of them, only about 50 of which have ever made it into the ears of another human. So from time to time, you are going to get a taste of oldie-but-goodies!

This one I wrote in 2007 when Guitar Hero was all the rage, and it features a kid who doesn't want to stop playing when his mom comes to pick him up at his friend's house.

 

Noseflute roundup

Time again for the Noseflute Roundup! For those who wallow in ignorance, I shall enlighten you: The nose flute is not some sexual euphemism, it is a piece of plastic you press to your face for aural pleasure. Er, that is, it's a nose-powered musical instrument whose pitch is controlled by your lips. It's basically a kazoo alternative.

The essence of noseflute. Photo credit: www.offthewagonshop.com

The essence of noseflute. Photo credit: www.offthewagonshop.com

It wasn't always thus. There have been other nose flutes throughout history, like this amazing fellow:

Let the nose flute just flow through you, man. Photo credit: Oliver Neeler

Let the nose flute just flow through you, man. Photo credit: Oliver Neeler

You can find ancient nose flute traditons around the Pacific Rim, in China, India and Africa. And now, what may be the pinnacle of nose flute achievement is here: an innocent teenage girl rockin' out with a ukelele and a nose flute strapped to her face like Hannibal Lecter. This is epic. This video should have 80 million views on youtube!

Enthusiastic performance of McFly's song 'Obviously', played on the nose flute and Ukulele.

Paralyzed from the neck up

Some people break their neck and are paralyzed from the neck down. That's horrible.

But some people are what I would call "Paralyzed from the neck up", i.e., they are walking around and doing stuff but their brain is stuck in dumbhead mode. Wake up, you! So when you are looking for a creative but not immediately obviously insulting way to describe, say, a dense cashier who doesn't understand why you're telling them they shorted you $10 change, and you go back to the car and your friend is like "What took so long?", you can say "Man, that cashier was paralyzed from the neck up. It was tragic." You're welcome!

Too Much Joy week finale! Day 5: "King of Beers"

See? No editing necessary! Vocals 1 and 2, guitar, and three drum mics

Hi! We made it! The last day of our Too Much Joy extravaganza! To cap it off, we have "King of Beers", from their Cereal Killers album. I've chosen to take some parts and really just toss it into a classic singalong drinking song in 3. It's kind of a White Stripes arrangement, guitar, drums, and vocals. I decided to not to overthink it, so I only used full takes, no editing allowed. Check out the graphic above for the proof!!

Check out Tim Quirk's awesome story of the story of "King of Beers". Meanwhile, here are the chords!

King of Beers by Too Much Joy
Transcribed this 18th day of September, 2014
by Amazingly Andrew Yonda
www.amazinglyandrew.com

B
Gonna feel like hell tomorrow
                    E
So I won’t go to sleep tonight
               F#
Na na na na na na sorrow
                     B
Everything’s gonna be alright

       E        F#
I am invincible
        B
I have no fear
       E
I am benevolent
  F#              B
I am the king of beers

E            F#
I love all my friends
B               D#m
I wish they would go away
E            F#
I say stupid things
B                D#m
Forgotten them all by Monday
C#m
Please don’t remind me

B
A man’s bar is his castle
                E
A raised stool is my throne
              F#
Why am I such an asshole?
            B
Why am I here alone?

       E        F#
I am invincible
        B
I have no fear
       E
I am benevolent
  F#m              B
I am the king of beers

E            F#
She’s so beautiful
B               D#m
I swear I’d sleep with her brother
E            F#
I’m so beautiful
  B              D#m
I never met her, but I love her
C#m                C#m  B  A         F#
Please look over here

[Interlude]

D  Dsus4    D    G
Em    G
D  Dsus4    D    G
A  Asus9  Asus4  A

D          G
I’d take a trip
Em           G
  Anywhere I go
D            G                A    
My head would come along with me

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

B    Bb    A    Ab    G Gb    F    E    B

B
Gonna feel like hell tomorrow
                    E
So I won’t go to sleep tonight
               F#
Na na na na na na sorrow
                     B
Everything’s gonna be alright

       E        F#
I am invincible
        B
I have no fear
       E
I am benevolent
  F#          B
I am the king of beers

       E        F#
I am invincible
        B
Hear me roar! (grr)
       E
I am benevolent
  F#              B
I am the king of beers
  F#              B
I am the king of beers
  F#              B
I am the king of beers
  F#              B
I am the king of beers

Too Much Joy week day 4: An unrelated graphic

Listen, you know what? I didn't feel like transcribing and recording an entire song for the 4th day in a row today! So, I'll save the last song, "King of Beers" by Too Much Joy, for tomorrow. Look for it!

Meanwhile, here is a fun fact for you: The original "I've Been Everywhere" song was performed by Lucky Starr and featured all Australian locations. It's pretty fun to sing! i.e. Bambaroo, Toowoomba, Gunnedah, Caringbah, Woolloomooloo, Dalveen. Here's the song on youtube. And then someone went and mapped the locations of each verse (I don't know who, sorry):


Too Much Joy week, day 3: "Nothing On My Mind"

Pretty fun song featuring inane lyrics that really get to the core of what it's like to let your mind wander. That seems like an old-fashioned concept now, actually!

Their version was actually a single. Mine is basically a stripped down acoustic thang, except for the amazing chorus ending. I don't know if this goes without saying (it doesn't, obv), but these recordings I'm making this week--I'm making them that very day. In the morning I have never played the song, though I may have loved it for years, and by the evening I've figured out how to play it and recorded my own version. Kudos to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chords, for those who are so inclined:

Nothing On My Mind by Too Much Joy
Transcribed on this 17th day of September, 2014

A
It’s not im-
A    E    D
Portant
A    E         D              A
    This love that I’m afraid of
          A    E       D
I’ve got a bugle someplace
        A    E    D    A
Let’s get parade up ohh

A    E                D
        We’re near the water
A       E      D        A
I know a guy, a guy with a boat, it
A    E            D
        doesn’t have any motor
A        E    D    A
We could just sit, sit and float

E    A            C#m        A
        I’ll give you a coloring book
E              F#m    B
You can draw outside the lines
E    A    B    A
I     I     I got nothing on my
E    A                B    A
        Nothing on my mind
F#m        A    E
I got nothing on my mind

A    E            D
    My cousin died at a Who concert
A       E           D           A
He was camping out in line
A    E            D    
      Me and him went camping once
A    E    D    A
I got nothing on my mind

F#m                A
    That’s my favorite song
F#m        A     B
Baby do you wanna dance whoa
A    E                     D    
      If you’re happy and you know it
A            E    D        A
    You’ve got to clap, clap your hands
A    E        D
If you’re happy and you know it
A            E    D        A
    You’ve got to clap, clap your hands

E    A            C#m        A
        I’ll give you a coloring book
E              F#m    B
You can draw outside the lines
E    A    B    A
I     I     I got nothing on my
E    A                B    A
        Nothing on my mind
F#m        A    
I got nothing on my
F#m        A    
I got nothing on my
F#m        A    E
I got nothing on my mind

E    F#m     E    F#m

E
I was in a movie one time
F#m
I didn’t have any lines
E
Just smiled at the leading lady
F#m
Got cut but at least they paid me
E
I’ve got nothing to say
F#m
I hope you have a nice day
E
I’m out of control
E
Je t’aime le rock and roll

E    A    B    E
I    I    I     got nothing on my mind
E    A    B    E
I    I    I     got nothing on my mind
E    A    B    E
I    I    I     got nothing on my mind

[I’ve got nothing to say hey hey hey

Got nothing to say

Have a nice day]

Too Much Joy week continues! Day 2: "Bad Dog"

Bad dog example

Bad dog example

Welcome back! As promised, here is another "Too Much Joy" cover song, "Bad Dog". Man those guys really rock, it turns out! And I am relatively acoustic, but I think it's a good mix, friend!

Now a few of these chords are approximate (in the "I hang my head in shame" part), since the band were doing all sorts of who knows what at the time, but they def work with the melody, so hey it's all good.

Bad Dog by Too Much Joy

A   F#m  E A   F#m  E

A           F#m  E
I have been bad dog
A    F#m E
I am a bad dog
D         G        A    
I hang my head in shame
D    A      G/D
Bad dog is my name
D         G        A    
You can hit me with a stick
D    A      G/D
I know I deserve it

G           D/F#
Shame on shame on
A
Shame on me
G           D/F#
Shame on shame on
A
Shame on me

D         G        A    
I hang my head in shame
D    A      G/D
Bad dog is my name
D         G        A    
You can tie me to a tree
D    A      G/D
I know it means you love me


G           D/F#
Shame on shame on
A
Shame on me
G           D/F#
Shame on shame on
A
Shame on me

A           F#m  E
            [I’ve been a bad dog]
A           F#m  E
            [I am a bad dog]
A           F#m  E
I have been bad dog
Bm   G  A
I am a bad dog

interlude

D         G        A    
D    A      G/D
D         G        A    
D    A      G/D

G           D/F#
A
G           D/F#
A

D    A    D
C    G    D

D                A        D
I met this sex nazi she locked me in her room
        C                        G        D
She only has sex with me every other June
G            D/F#        A
I met this sex nazi she wants sex on demand
G                   D/F#     A
When she’s not commanding I can’t even use my hand

G           D/F#
Shame on shame on
A
Shame on me
G           D/F#
Shame on shame on
A
Shame on me

D        Bm     A
I have been bad dog
D    Bm    A
I am a bad dog
D     G    A   
I hang my head in shame
D    A    G/D        D
Bad dog is my name

Too Much Joy week begins! Day 1: "Take a Lot of Drugs"

It's Too Much Joy week here at amazinglyandrew.com! If you didn't know, that doesn't just mean it's a joy-filled week you have to look forward to--Too Much Joy is a band from the 80's and 90's mostly. As I found myself wanting to play a song of theirs called "Bad Dog" I looked it up at Ultimate Guitar and was dismayed to find just 3 songs transcribed!!! (Including one for ukelele, helpfully.) So I thought, hey, uh, if I'm gonna be a transcribin' these here songs, might as well share 'em! And if I'm gonna write them down and play them, might as well record them!

The next thought I had was "Say, ah, Andrew, you know there are real people in that band who may not be super psyched if you post their material online." So I got worried. But guess what! I contacted the leader of the band Tim Quirk and he blessed me! Holy crap! I mean, these are no shrinking daisies we're talking about--they sold hundreds of thousands of albums back when, and Tim Quirk was recently a Google Play executive. So I'm honored!

To start the week off we have my rendition of "Take a Lot of Drugs", a song off of their b-sides collection "Besides". Ha ha. I have processed it through the "hippie-ska" blender, interestingly enough. It's a pretty great!

Every day this week I plan to post another song with chords and lyrics, you're welcome!

Here I am having too much fun recording Too Much Joy covers

Here I am having too much fun recording Too Much Joy covers

 

Take a Lot of Drugs
by Too Much Joy

G
Take a lot of drugs

You owe yourself some fun
            C
Drink a lot of beer
            G
I won’t tell no one

G
Have a lot of sex

Leave on all the lights
            C
Play a lot of pool
                G
Ignore the change in time

        C
When the world ain’t your friend
        G
And you ain’t got a friend in the world
D
Take a lot of drugs 
        C                G        C    G
And to another world you’ll be hurled

G
Take the day off work

Swear on live TV
            C
Burn all your clothes
            G
Roam naked and free

    C
When life ain’t your friend
        G
And your friends ain’t for life
D
Take a lot of drugs 
        C            G
And everything will be alright

        C
When the world ain’t your friend
        G
And you ain’t got a friend in the world
D
Take a lot of drugs 
        C                G
And to another world you’ll be hurled
    C                   G
To another world you’ll be hurled
    C                   G
To another world you’ll be hurled


Transcribed by Amazingly Andrew Yonda
www.amazinglyandrew.com

The ceiling's the limit

Well obvy the original saying is "the sky's the limit," but I think that's naively optimistic. In general, your limits are much lower. Wouldn't it be better to be a little more realistic? In fact, I recently read that people who have low expectations are the happiest, so if you say "Whelp, the ceiling's the limit" but then find yourself in the sky by some lucky chance, well, imagine the elation!

Or you could think about it this way: in astronomical terms, limiting yourself to the sky is relatively pitiful--you could go much, much further. Ha!